September brings about this freshness and renewal for personal growth. With children returning to school we are reminded of the goals we want to achieve and start organizing ourselves to strive towards them.
This can be a great thing… unless you have a tendency towards perfection. If you’re anything like me writing down lists and making big plans gives you a “high” that is most often followed by a “low” when you realize you’ll never get it all done. We set our expectations high and we place so many hopes on that sense of accomplishment that can never come because its just impossible to achieve.
I’ll never plan every meal a week ahead of time or make dinner every night. My husband does way more of the cooking than I and yet I find myself each Sunday convincing myself that I’ll take on the meals because I “should.” Why am I trying so hard to strive to be something that I’m just naturally not?
So I’ve decided this week I’m going to do the exact opposite of setting my sights high and choosing to strive towards perfect stay at home motherhood or at least the societal expectation I put upon myself.
In short- I’m going to rebel.
Rebelling is something we often relate to our teenage years. We may look back at ourselves and roll our eyes at the ways we rebelled now but in that moment the rebellion was essential to our development. Rebelling is a key way to affirm your identity and assert your values whether or not they are part of the establishment. It’s a way of saying, “I’m making these choices for me and not for what I feel society expects.” It’s liberating, it’s freeing, it’s so damn important.
In a way being a mom sometimes feels like those junior high days where you feel you have to do so much to fit in. Only instead of liking N’Sync and wearing Doc Martens its feeding your children organic vegetables and knowing everything there is to know about the latest parenting book. Societal expectations and attitudes prey upon the vulnerable, those that are insecure about who they are and that quite perfectly sums up how I’ve felt the past 2 years. Well mamas, its time for a rebellion.
To be honest my actions might not change that much in my rebellion. I set my sights high to cook each week and then they usually don’t pan out anyways. I make cook no more or less than I usually do. However, its my attitude towards how much I cook that will change. I’m not cooking because I feel I should. I’ll cook because I want to. Now I may cook because there’s a tasty recipe I’ve found or because I want my son to eat more veggies or because I want to do something nice to my husband. But I refuse to cook because I feel that it somehow makes me a better mom in the eyes of society. That attitude I will firmly rebel against.
I’ll take more time for myself this week and ask for it clearly. I’m rebelling against the expectation that moms must be martyrs.
I’ll go with the flow and stop feeling disappointed if I don’t have a firm schedule for my 2 year old. I’m rebelling against the expectation that moms must be in control at all times.
I’ll communicate with my son the way that feels loving and naturally to me. I won’t obsess over saying “good job”too much or worry that anytime I get short with him I’ve done permanent and irreversible damage to his self esteem (I will however, apologize to him). I’m rebelling against the expectation that there is only one right way to parent.
Again, I may go about my week in a similar fashion as always but the way I perceive these actions will change. Instead of rebelling against my sense of self I’m going to rebel against the societal attitudes that I’ve let seep into my life.
So find some small ways to rebel this week. Start to follow your choices and actions based on what you truly want and feels is best regardless of the attitudes out there that say otherwise. Rebel on mamas.